RECLAIMING Pleasure SEX AFTER SEXUAL ASSAULT: The Use of Toys in Healing Trauma BY ANNAMARIE HOULIS S ex toys are designed for igniting pulsating pleasures, quenching kinky curiosities and, perhaps less acknowledged, healing — healing, for all too many, from sexual assault. For some survivors, though not all, toys empower. They can facilitate the reclamation of one’s sexuality, which can feel stolen in an assault, because the user retains complete control and pleasure is the sole priority. “For me, I know I like… firmer and more curved toys for G-spot stimulation — stainless steel or Pyrex because I can change the temperature on them and make them hot or cold,” says Ignacio Rivera, founder of The HEAL Project and the Pure Love online talk show, and storyteller through their writing, performance art and film work. Rivera is also a survivor of both rape and child sexual abuse. “It all depends on how relaxed and free I’m feeling. Do I want to feel more and go further? To me [using toys is] about continuing a relationship with yourself and exploring your body on your own.” Rivera notes that, at the time of their rape, they were stripped of 42 S E X U A L H E A LT H M A G A Z I N E // J U LY 2 0 1 7 control and unable to fight back. Bringing toys into their sexual space provides them a much different experience — one in which they’re the pilot and they can navigate their own body. “I love toys for a variety of reasons,” they say. “For one, I’m the one doing it. I get to control every aspect of it — when it starts, when it ends, how long it is, how hard, how fast, how everything. I love that part of it. It’s also me by myself. There’s no other person, so I don’t have to think of another person and I don’t have to explain to another person why I’m not getting wet. It’s just me. You get to let loose when you’re by yourself in a way that some of us can’t do with another person… make the noises you want to make and the faces you want to make.” Rivera isn’t alone. They host Sexy Survivor skill-share workshops at conferences and schools across the country, which bring individuals